Coming back to the same thoughts again, I really wondered what has transpired through all these years back when I first started. I loved the way we just grew closer without a reason, I loved the way we shared mischievous smiles, and I loved the way we understood what it means for us.

I guess when you lay it out in its’ simplest form, you’ll get the missing puzzle pieces, the ‘I love you’s and the moments we missed out on. But despite all these years, I’ve never been able to put you down. Regardless of how I’ve tried to move on, to break away from the chains of our past; or how I’ve tried to forget all that we shared, there’s this spell that binds me to you. But now, I want to face my fears and my past, to move on from the past, from the both of you. There is no doubt that I’ll still love you, and that part of me will forever belong to you. I really did fall hard for you, even though I didn’t mean to and the last thing I want to do is let go and stop trying, but for the sake of my own sanity I need to.

I don’t know how I can be confident again with what’s to come, but I promise that I’ll give it a try. I’m going to stop harping on waiting around fences and hoping I’ll see you again, we will meet, in the years to come, but for now, I’m going to stop waiting, and keep moving forward. When you left, it made a great impact in my life, and it taught me the greatest pain of losing someone you love, and I learnt that sitting around begging for the past to come back is impossible and frankly stupidity at its finest.

I’m worth so much more than sitting around and waiting for you to come back to tell me the words I needed to hear years ago. I’m worth more than just walking around in a daze, crying when nobody is around; where I can’t be heard. I’m worth more than praying for something that will never happen ever again. I’m worth way more than all of that. 

So thank you, for all that you've done, because right now, I think I'm ready to step out from my past, from the threads that binds me to the shadows. I'm ready to plunge into another whiplash of emotions that I know could potentially hurt, but I think I'm ready.