I feel so selfish, so self-centered. I want to be kind towards you, help you fulfill all your wishes, be the kind of person who makes you happiest, I want so much yet I can't give. I know myself, and honestly, I believe that I've disappointed, and upset many of those who believed in me, who gave me so much, and helped me through.
Things are just different. I wish I could tell you what went wrong, but how could I, when even I do not know what's happening? I spent every night, crying myself to sleep once again, without knowing the reason why, without trying to hold back the tears. What's the point, when the tears are just going to spill? There's just so much 'problems' welling up. I can't do this anymore. It's hard to pit the consequence against each other.
What if I told you that I'll no longer be able to stay by your side? What if I said that I'm leaving and never come back? What would you do? Can you go on living as if everything's alright? Can you pretend as if I never existed? Can you just forget me?
I am trying my best. Amidst all the negatives, I'm trying to be positive. To look on the brighter side, to look forward to our future. Trying my best to be who you wish I could, to be what you expect from me... It's not easy, but at least I'm trying. You might be angry with me, but I just wish you'll understand.