It’s really hard to keep a smiling face every day. Looking at everyone around, they all look so happy, so carefree; so much that I had to smile along to just not feel left out. I know, everyone has their own problems. I’m no one to talk about them. But, it’s amazing how they managed a smile each and every day like as if nothing is ever wrong.

Why do I constantly feel as if I’m torn apart? Like the world is trying to make me fall? Like everyone, and everything is against me? I really don’t get it anymore. Why am I even trying so hard right now? Just, what am I trying to achieve?
I really wish to escape from reality, on so many different occasions. And on the others, I just wish I wasn’t born. I wish I’m not here, just not right here. It’s tiring, exhausting, like a really long grueling battle that I’ll never win. I’ve tried, but never won.

You know, at times like this, when I look out the window, I’ll just wonder that if I’m really gone, who would care? Because I doubt anyone would. I’m not worth it, I’m just me. I’ve hurt so many and sinned so much. I might as well just disappear and never come back. I think that’s for the best. That that way, I won’t have to burden them all. Then again, I’ll hurt those who really cared for me and wished that each time I fall; I’ll walk right back up and move on. I really don’t wish to let them down. But it’s tearing me apart. I don’t know how much longer I can stay standing. How much longer can I hold up till? I wish there was an answer, somewhere.