Each time I find myself, battling against my consciousness, I always fail to keep my stand together. In some way or another, I’ll fall apart, and break down in tears. Yes, I may look as if I’m totally fine, just like any other teen, happy, carefree, and optimistic. Well, I’m not as fortunate as the others, but well off in my own way. As mentioned before, I didn’t have the choice. I’ve got to live with them, to live with it, to swallow my anger, and hold in my fears.

Ironic isn’t it? I said that I’ve got to be strong enough, to not show my weakness to others, to stand above others. But in the end, I fall apart, break down, cry in the face of others, and fall to the bottomless pits. Every night, well most of it anyways, I cry myself to sleep, thinking about everything, working myself to endless peaks, and driving myself forward.

These days, it just gets harder, to hold back my tears, to stay unaffected, and
strong. Like I’ve mentioned before, I always drown myself in the laughter of others, to run always from the harsh reality... Is that why I always try to make everyone laugh and smile? I that the only way about this?

Sigh. Everything just came crashing in. Everything. I shouldn’t have let my guard down, and let others in… it’ll only hurt me and them more than I could ever imagine. I’m sorry.



On the side note, i'm just curious, what's going on in your life right now? With all the drama in mine, I hope yours is a whole lot better.
Should I just get Glasses, or not?