My world now, is filled with thousands of ‘what if’s’, and millions of ‘why’s’. I don’t get things anymore, probably because they are not as simple as they used to be, because we’re all not the naïve little kid we once were?
If I was able to change one thing, it’ll be my innocence; or at least so I thought. On the days filled with endless laughter, and on those sad nights, wet with tears, I wished that you’ll be by my side, for comfort, for assurance. Well, I thought wrong. What am I living for? Who am I living for? What’s the purpose of my existence? Why am I here? So many questions, without answers, I really wished I had answers, or at least someone else did… but life’s reality is pretty harsh.
Back to the days where the only thing that mattered was your own happiness. Not giving shit about other’s and just living your life. Yes, back to the naïve you, everyone loved. I can’t say I’m the same, naïve and innocent little girl I once was, because life’s been so screwed, I’m all Fucked-up now.
I really wish I could put behind all these ‘unhappiness’ and walk on to a brighter future. To smile genuinely, without a care in this world. I hope all these was just a dream, a harmless nightmare… I’m sorry.