Even after so much, I realized that perhaps I still love you. Did you know how much it took me to suppress the urge to not call you over? To restrict myself to just text you? To pretend in front of everyone that I'm over you? It's not necessary for me to do these, I know, but have you ever wondered, if I didn't, how much more hurt I would have to go through? Oh, right; Sorry. I forgot, I don't matter to you at all, I'm just your primary schoolmate, just your ex-classmate, just a friend. If I wanted more, I would have to kill off my heart, to end the pain and hurt.
How much I longed to see you? How much I longed to hold you? How much longer can I hold out? I love you. I can't hide it any longer; everybody is beginning to figure out my heart. Yes, it's time I close my heart once again, so that no one will see through me, so that I'll be able to maintain my poker face.
Soon, it will be time to move on, leave the past behind, leave myself, and just go on. I've been through this; or I'm still going through this, so nothing else matters, nothing is much more tiring than this.

If this is a dream, I'll stay asleep for as long as possible.
If this is a memory, I'll rather live based on my memories.
If this is the reality, I'll choose to close my eyes to everything else, and hope everything is just a dream.