Were first crushes always that had to get by? Did you struggle through with this problem too? Why is it that until today, even though I've tried so hard not to think about it, or to forget about it, nothing works. All I see whenever I close my eyes is you. Yes, I've tried to treat you like a friend, just the same way I treat 'lester, Aqmal, MP, the same. I tried, but failed. Those sleepless nights I've spent, those were the times I've cried for when you aren't by my side. Everyday, I try to get you out of my head; I try not to think about you; I try to wear myself out, so that I can sleep at night without thinking about you, or crying, or such.
Even something as simple as texting, I couldn't even send you a text saying "hello." or "how are you?". It sucks. Now I'm having my doubts, what was the reason I fell for you? The cause? Could it be because I just wanted to have someone I can be close to, besides family, or friends? I doubt myself. I don't believe in myself anymore; or more like; I can't trust myself any more than I've already am.