It's been nearly a year(perhaps two) and we haven't spoken a word to each other.
Maybe you'll never see this.
You probably won't.
Maybe you don't care.
You probably don't want to.
But it hurts every time I think of you.
I'm sorry I ever thought we could be more than friends.
I'm sorry I'm not the person you want me to be.
I'm sorry I've made you sad.
I'm sorry I messed up your life.
Maybe you don't believe me, but I really am sorry.
I miss having someone to talk to all the time.
I miss having someone to talk to about my troubles.
I miss having a best friend. (._.)
It sucks when everything you do is just another lie so people won't see how sad you are.
Don't you ever think about the hours we spend talking to each other?
Maybe you can live life without me.
Maybe I've deluded myself all this time.
Kudos to you then.
But all my life reality has never met my expectations.
I thought... maybe you could change that.
I once thought that nobody would want to or should care about me.
Nobody cares about a nobody.
Or maybe it's me who's shut off the rest of the world.
I don't know.
But either way, it still feels lonely.
So I've got my friends... (I suppose. Because it hurts.)
They've got their own problems.
We don't talk much anymore either.
What's there to talk about?
The last heartbreak? The next?
Every thing's just a goddamn string of unfortunate events.
They've got enough on their mind to put up with my crap.
Maybe you don't want to put up with it either.
Maybe I'm making a big fuss out of nothing.
I just wish you knew how hard it is to keep my tears in as I type this post out.
I miss you.
More than you could imagine.
I really, really miss you.
And it hurts to know you probably won't see this.
You probably want to move on.
You probably want to forget I ever existed.
But I'm so frickin sorry, can't you just give me another chance?
It hurts to know you won't see this.
I still have to say it anyway.
Just in case you visit this blog.
Just in case.
Just in case you care.