I realized how much things had change. It's so different from before.
I can no longer ignore it further. Why is it that now I feel so suffocated...
So in need of oxygen; In need of help?

I noticed this awhile ago...
I noticed that I no longer smiled truthfully from my heart.
Because I couldn't. Faking that smile to everyone, it just seemed so natural.
Including towards my own family. Keeping everything to myself.
Making myself seem so.. so.. seem that I'm fine, no worries. Surprisingly, they didn't even see through my lie. Showing just how much they cared.

I don't want others to read my fucking post, and take pity.
I don't goddamn care. Things like 'cheer up.' I'm not gonna care. NO WAY!
If you really cared, you don't even need to read this blog, to understand me.
This just goes to show just how much you cared.

Just when? When can I take off this mask? When can I stop faking this smile?
When can I say bravely, "This is who I am."?
I miss you.